BARE MINIMUM: When You Really Can’t Do More

I'm the MASTER of bare minimum. Photo by Hoyoun Lee on Unsplash

We live in a culture that thrives on productivity - produce more, do more, BE MORE.

This moment, just as you are, is not enough.

Being content with life as it is and yourself as you are is counter-culture; it's borderline subversive.

But... what if you get to a point where you just can't anymore? Like, literally and physically cannot?

That's where I'm at in my life; I just can't.

I don't know how I got here... Ok, no, that's a lie, I know. I know exactly how.

Stress. Being ridiculously busy at a very demanding job leading up to COVID. And then suddenly being unemployed, and scrambling emotionally and financially. Finally finding a job and then dealing with the aftermath of being unemployed for over a year. Working two jobs for nearly a year to get out of debt.

And then meeting the love of my life, the man who would become my husband. This was a WONDERFUL thing, but it brought many changes to my life and let's be honest, change, no matter how positive the reason for it, is always stressful. (Have you ever planned a wedding? Even a small one...?)

In the midst of all that, there was drama and stress with my family, which ultimately resulted in our estrangement.

And then as life finally settled down into marital routine, I started once again putting a lot of pressure on myself, the pressure I've put on myself and had put on me since I was a little kid "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

(I think some of us are born knowing, and others spend a lifetime trying to find the answer. Both are ok.)

We don't know nuffin' about being grown-up. Photo by Hoyoun Lee on Unsplash

I've been trying to find THE ANSWER, what I want my next project or endeavour to be (to give my life meaning and purpose of course), but changing my mind on a weekly basis and stressing out intensely over that.

What finally seemed to get me to the place I'm at now - the place of "no I can't" is my overly ambitious gym schedule. (The final straw looks different for everyone.)

Because I work remotely, I had been looking for a way to get out of the house more regularly. I had been doing at home workouts since COVID, but decided it was time head back to the gym.

Since May, I've been working out and taking classes an average of five days per week. Spinning twice a week, Hot Yoga twice a week, and a Barbell class once a week. Add in the regular bike rides and walks that my husband and I take together, and I was getting up to 10 hours of (somewhat intense) physical activity per week.

Now that all sounds good on paper, because as we know, our culture is generally sedentary and we all need to move more.

But as it turns out, overtraining is a thing.

I hit a wall named insomnia which can be attributed to overtraining. Waking up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning for 2-3 hours at a time... Torture. Truly.

I was - am - physically and emotionally exhausted.

Life in general has been stressful, but the last 10 years, which covered the narrative above, especially so.

(I felt the need to outline the reasons for the build-up in stress because, our culture seems to need solid justification for requiring rest, and I've internalized that.)

But now, everything has settled. I have a stable job, home life, all is well, all is good.

Aside from the self-imposed stress (defining my life and my overly ambitious gym schedule) there's no need to stress about anything.

And so for the first time in my life, I won't.

I'm in BARE MINIMUM MODE - I cannot do more than the bare minimum. I cannot figure out the answer to my life, I cannot take up any more new activities, I cannot put any unnecessary pressure on myself.

There's a long to do list, but most days, many things just don't get done.

(How many things on your list are truly “must” versus “would be nice to”?)

I find this difficult to accept because I've been living in high-adrenaline "go, go, go" mode for so very long.

But as one of my friends said to me recently "Maybe now's just not the time."

Maybe now's not the time to be ambitious, or to take on new projects.

Maybe now's not the time to do more.

Maybe now is the time to do less.

To just rest.

To stop and read a book. (Remember those?)

To enjoy quiet days with my husband, where the most ambitious thing we accomplish is laundry and advancing work on our latest puzzle. (We have a professional puzzle board; it spins and has drawers. NERD STATUS: COMPLETE.)

To write a blog post for fun, because I miss writing and for no other reason (Like clicks, views, followers.)

To stop attempting to define my life and to just live it.

BARE MINIMUM means just that.

What is the LEAST I can do today and still have my life run smoothly?

That's BARE MINIMUM and it's ok to live there when you need to.

Just chillin'. Photo by Freysteinn G. Jonsson on Unsplash

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You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.

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