AGEING: Apparently This Is Happening
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| Getting up? That sounds like a lot of work. Photo by Jack Plant on Unsplash |
Ageing is a thing.
Yeah, really.
If you're reading this and you're in your 20s, you don't believe me.
I understand.
When I was in my 20s — and even my 30s — I felt pretty invincible. There was nothing I couldn't do, nowhere I couldn't go. The world was my oyster and the possibilities were endless.
Ageing was something that happened to, well, old people.
Fast forward to now.
I'm 45, going on... older... and I'm seeing and feeling the physical signs of ageing: a few grey hairs, some wrinkles, pain somewhere just because I slept wrong, and funny noises when I stretch certain joints. (It’s like listening to milk being poured over a bowl of Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. Pop!)
I now understand the statement: “Youth is wasted on the young.”
I personally didn't understand the power and beauty of my youth until now. Although I'm not old by any means, I'm no longer at the age where I get called “miss” by store clerks.
Somewhere along the way, I became a “ma’am.”
I’m not sure I gave written consent.
This Isn’t a Funeral for My Wrinkle-Free Days
Now, the point of this piece of writing isn't to mourn my wrinkle-free days, although R.I.P., obviously.
The point is to tell you about a realization I've had about ageing that can hopefully inspire us all to approach our advancing years with more hope.
Fact: ageing is not a choice.
The only way to ensure you maintain your youth until you die is to die young.
I think we can all agree this is not an ideal option.
Ageing is a privilege denied to many. Dying young of cancer, or some other horrible disease or accident, isn't the way most of us — any of us? — would choose to go.
Ergo: we all must age. (Hey, I don’t make the rules.)
We Don’t Choose Ageing — But We Do Choose How We Age
Although we don't have a choice about ageing itself, we do have a choice about how we age.
Because what I'm starting to realize is that how we age is, at least partly, up to us.
What do I mean by that?
Health.
The active maintenance of our health is a choice.
In our 20s and 30s, for most of us, our health is a given. We can run on caffeine, questionable decisions, very little sleep, and food that comes in wrappers, and somehow the body just keeps showing up for work.
As we get older, it no longer does.
At some point, the body starts sending memos.
Then follow-up emails.
Then calendar invites with the subject line: “We need to talk.”
We actually have to do stuff to maintain our health. (Annoying, but true.)
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| Nothing beats a vigorous run through the dandelions. Photo by Rafaëlla Waasdorp on Unsplash |
Enter: Ernestine Shepherd
What brought me to this realization was coming across the story of Ernestine Shepherd.
She’s best known for being, at one point, the oldest competitive female bodybuilder in the world.
Currently, she’s 89 years old, and although she’s no longer competing, she’s still hitting the gym every day.
AT 89!!!
Here’s what she looks like. The lady is nearly twice my age and she’s definitely in better shape than I am.
Coming across her story — especially knowing she didn’t start her fitness journey until she was in her 50s — inspired me.
It made me realize that being old doesn’t have to mean being a hunched-over creature leaning on a cane, with dry crepey skin and a tuft of white hair.
Ageing can look different.
It can feel different.
It can be energetic and vibrant.
But it depends on our choices, especially in middle age.
Middle Age: The Receipts Start Printing
Up until middle age, for most of us, we get to enjoy the body and health we were born with.
After middle age...
Well.
To put it bluntly, we kind of get what we deserve.
And I don’t mean that in a cruel way.
I mean that whatever positive or negative habits we have in place will really start to show.
Lack of exercise.
Too much sun exposure.
Smoking.
An unhealthy diet.
Lack of sleep.
At some point, we all have to pay the piper.
And apparently the piper accepts payment in joint pain, fatigue, inflammation, and the sudden inability to digest foods we used to eat at midnight without consequence.
RUDE.
This is why setting up good habits — preferably from a young age, but definitely in midlife — will help dictate what our ageing process looks like.
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| Wait... I don't want to get older though... Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash |
We Know What We Need to Do
I'm not here to tell you about your bad habits; you're well acquainted with them, as am I. We all have our little collection.
I’m also not here to shame anyone. Shame is a terrible motivator, and frankly, life is hard enough without turning wellness into another moral purity test.
But I am here to inspire us to make changes.
If you don't exercise, start.
If you smoke, quit.
If you eat nothing but processed food, take a cooking class.
If you never sleep, protect your bedtime like it’s a tiny, cranky baby that must not be disturbed.
Today is the best day to invest in our future.
Because a life without health and vitality is not the life most of us are hoping for.
My New Fitness Goal: Getting Out of Chairs
Personally, I've changed my workout routines to include more functional movements.
I'm no longer primarily concerned about having toned legs; I’m concerned about being able to easily get up from a seated position when I'm 80.
Have you seen the actual drama it is for some older people just to get up?
It’s not a movement, it’s a full production.
There’s rocking.
There’s bracing.
There’s a pause for strategy.
(Sometimes there’s a noise.)
And I say this with love because I do not want this for myself.
I want to be able to squat, hinge, lift, carry, walk, climb stairs, and get off the floor without needing a formal rescue operation.
This is no longer about looking cute in jeans. (Although, to be clear, I still support looking cute in jeans.)
This is about independence.
Strength.
Energy.
Quality of LIFE.
This is about becoming the kind of older person who can still carry her own groceries, go for walks, travel, garden, dance, lift a suitcase, and maybe still dramatically storm out of a room if the situation requires it.
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| Hey, where are you going? Photo by Kit (formerly ConvertKit) on Unsplash |
The Future Is Being Built Right Now
I’m saying all this not because I want anyone to feel bad about themselves or their habits.
I’m saying it as a reminder that we’re all getting older every day.
And the things we do regularly — the boring, repetitive, unsexy things — are what will dictate what the experience of ageing is like for each of us.
Not perfectly, of course; we don’t control everything.
Genetics matter.
Illness happens.
Life happens.
Bodies are complicated and sometimes deeply inconvenient.
But we do have influence, and influence is not nothing.
The walks matter.
The workouts matter.
The sleep matters.
The food matters.
The sunscreen matters.
The not-smoking matters.
The mobility work matters.
The BORING stuff matters.
Especially because it doesn’t stay boring.
Eventually, it becomes freedom.
Ageing Is Coming Either Way
Ageing is coming for all of us. (Again, I do not make the rules.)
But maybe the goal isn’t to fight ageing like it’s an enemy. Maybe the goal is to participate in it.
To choose how we want to feel.
To choose what kind of older person we’re becoming.
To build strength while we can.
To take care of the body we’re going to have to live in for the rest of our lives.
Because if we’re LUCKY, we get to grow old.
And if we’re SMART, we’ll prepare for it.
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| I am always prepared. For everything. Photo by Caleb Fisher on Unsplash |
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