WORRYING: How to Stop

When is my next walk? What if it rains? Will I have to wear those booties again? Ugh! Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash

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Worrying is the quest for a guarantee, all so we can find the confidence to press on. It’s an endless search for a promise: the outcome will be worth the effort we put into the process.

Worrying is impossible without attachment. No one worries about the weather on Saturn, because no one is counting on the weather to be a certain way.

The time we spend worrying is actually time we’re spending trying to control something that is out of our control.

- Seth Godin: The Practice

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The Worry Train

At one time or another, you've likely caught yourself ruminating about how certain situations were going to turn out, or what specific people were going to do - aka - worrying.

Endlessly going over things in your mind - much like rubbing a hangnail - does little to change things.

So... how can you stop worrying?

It's actually really simple.

Not easy mind you, but it is simple.

So simple that I can outline it for you in two (just two!) steps.

Here we go.

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Step #1: You stop worrying by letting go of attachment

The more attached you are to people / places / events, the more you'll start to worry when it looks as though things won't go the way you thought they "should."

As noted above "No one worries about the weather on Saturn, because no one is counting on the weather to be a certain way."

As long you're not counting on anyone or anything to be a particular way, your mind will be free.

The moment you attach worry begins, because what if it doesn't work out that way?

The first step in getting off the worry-train is to let go of attachment.

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Once you make up your mind, that’s when the fear begins. Because what if it doesn’t turn out that way? What happens inside of you when you make up your mind about something, when you’ve decided something, and then it starts to go differently once you’re in the middle of it, what happens for you?

If you start to feel frightened, like the rug is being pulled out from under you, stop and look at yourself. Ask yourself “When did I get certain about this? When did I stop being curious?"

If you stay curious, you stay at peace with the unknown.

You are content to allow it to unfold; you are content to wait to see what’s around the corner, until you get around the corner.

- Danielle Gibbons

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Step #2: You stop worrying by identifying the things that ARE and AREN'T within your control.

Letting go of control doesn't mean you actively pursue chaos; it means that those things you can do something about, you do something about them.

You can show up very well-prepared for an interview (in your control).

But the final decision is out of your hands (not in your control).

And those things you can't do anything about?

You let them go.

Because you cannot change the weather (neither here nor on Saturn); you can only prepare for it.

Image Credit: Unknown

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CONCLUSION: Worry comes from attachment, specifically to things we cannot control.

Step #1 - Detach. Be open to the fact that things might turn out other than how you want them to, and be ok with that.

Step #2 - Identify the things you have control over and do something about them. Identify the things you have no control over and let them go.

Like I said, it might not be easy, but it is simple. It's a daily practice in mindfulness, and you'll get better at it with time.

Or... you can spend a lifetime trying to bend the world to your will; also an option. (Less fun, but that's for you to decide.)

Me? I'm not worried about a damn thing. Photo by Josh Rakower on Unsplash

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You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.

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For more on changing your mindset and imagining good things click ⭐ here ⭐ to get my guide on Visualizations — yours FREE with subscription to my site.

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