It's not enough to know that you're awesome. (Because of course, you are.)
You gotta know why you're awesome.
Let me explain.
(It's what Oprah calls an "A-ha" moment; one where the needle scratches on the record in your mind and you can never be the same again. <-- LOVE THOSE!)
Moawad says the best mental state for a person to live in is one of Conscious Competence - meaning you understand why you're succeeding in the areas that you are because it's the only way to ensure you can consistently reproduce your successes.
TRANSLATION: Real success isn't about knowing you're awesome; it's about understanding why you're awesome.
MIND. BLOWN.
This BIG IDEA makes more sense in context, so let me give you the four different states of competence, as outlined in the book:
1 - Unconsciously Incompetent: We don’t know, and we don’t know that we don’t know.
2 - Consciously Incompetent: We know that we don’t know.
3 - Unconsciously Competent: We don’t know that we know.
4 - Consciously Competent: We know, and we know that we know.
Let me describe the above in a way that might be easier to wrap you head around:
Unconsciously Incompetent
If you're unaware that you're lacking in some area, then you can't change things.
As they say, the first step to change is admitting there's a problem, so if you're unaware of the problem you're powerless to change it.
You're UNAWARE. Nothing can be done.
Consciously Incompetent
You shrug your shoulders and say "I am what I am." You know there's a problem, but you aren't willing to do anything to change it.
You don't even want to try because on some level, you don't really believe you can change. You lack a sense of personal responsibility.
You're AWARE, but UNWILLING. Something could be done, but you don't wanna do it.
Unconsciously Competent
You don't have a problem - in fact, you're succeeding - but you don't know why you're succeeding.
This might not seem like an issue; after all who doesn't love to win without giving a lot of thought to the process?
The thing is, if you're succeeding at something without knowing why then your process isn't repeatable.
If at some point circumstances change and you fail, you can't point to the specific behaviours you did or didn't do in order to get yourself back on the right track.
You're UNAWARE. Nothing can be done.
Consciously Competent
You're succeeding and you know why you're succeeding.
This means you understand yourself enough to create the behaviours that will allow you to win again and again.
If at some point circumstances change and you fail, you can point to the specific behaviours you did or didn't do and easily pivot back onto the road to success.
You're AWARE, and WILLING. Something can be done, and you're doing it.
WHY ALL OF THIS MATTERS
The ideal state to live in - obviously - is one of conscious competence.
You need to understand WHY you’re succeeding if you want to repeat the behaviour.
Let's look at an example as it relates to HEALTH, using all but the first competency above. (We don't care about the first one because that person is a lost cause.)
HEALTHY by ACCIDENT (Unconscious Competence)
Public transportation isn't great in your part of town, but you live close enough to work that you can walk there. Even though you don't have a formal exercise routine, you get in 40-50 minutes of physical activity five days a week.
Also, you work in an area of town that's away from any fast-food chains. Although there is a cafeteria on-site, you can't afford to eat there everyday (they charge a premium since they're the only game around), so you bring your own lunch.
You're healthy and fit as a result of your ENVIRONMENT. You didn't make a conscious choice to be healthy, it happened because of circumstances.
UN-HEALTHY by ACCIDENT (Unconscious Incompetence)
But then you move.
You live down the street from a bus route that drops you right in front of work, so you stop walking. You now spend all day sitting.
Also, you now work in an area of town that's surrounded by a plethora of inexpensive restaurants and - since you got a raise - you can now afford to eat out every day at lunch.
After a year of this, you've gained 10 pounds and aren't feeling so great.
You're un-healthy (and chubby) as a result of your ENVIRONMENT. You didn't make a conscious choice to be un-healthy, it happened because of circumstances.
In both instances above, you didn't make conscious choices regarding your health; you reacted unconsciously to your environment and did what was most convenient at the time.
HEALTHY on PURPOSE (Conscious Competence)
With that new raise you got, you can finally afford a car, so you stop walking to work.
But, knowing that sitting all day isn't going to make you feel great, you take a walk every day on your lunch break.
You work in an area of town that's surrounded by a sea of fast-food restaurants and - thanks to that raise - you can now afford to eat out every day at lunch.
But, knowing that eating out daily isn't healthy, you decide to compromise. You'll bring your own lunches every day except Fridays, when you'll treat yourself to a take-out meal.
You're healthy and fit as a result of your DECISIONS. You made a conscious choice to be healthy and took the steps needed to succeed.
SUCCESS PROCESS
Now, what about you?
Will you be a product of CHOICE or a product of CIRCUMSTANCE?
Being Consciously Competent is the best state to live in because you're succeeding and you know why you're succeeding.
It means you can turn your successes from flukes into sure things because you can repeat the behaviours you need to in order to win at life.
That's why you have to define your SUCCESS PROCESS for each area in your life that's working; why is the thing you're doing working?
Write that sh*t out, seriously → MAKE LISTS.
Understand the specific behaviours that help you win.
Unless you're Consciously Competent, you can't apply your success to other areas of your life.
Being consciously competent is important in general, but specifically when you fail; it will be easier to course-correct because you know what you need to do.
If you fail without having identified your SUCCESS PROCESS, you can't point to the places you went wrong, and it will be more difficult to pivot because you don't know what to do to get back on track.
UNDERSTAND YOUR AWESOMENESS.
Know what you're good at, yes.
But understand why you're winning - what you're doing - in every aspect of your life so you can properly harness that ability and continue winning.
"...there’s a clear path to a version of success in most every situation. These are relative and based on the situation, but if you know yourself, if you are consciously competent, you can create the behaviours that allow you to produce the best possible outcome...
We are at our best not only when our instincts are practiced and sound, but when we fully understand why we’re successful or unsuccessful."
You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.
For more on changing your mindset and imagining good things click ⭐ here ⭐ to get my guide on Visualizations — yours FREE with subscription to my site.
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