What Working on a Cruise Ship Taught Me About Being FAMOUS: the GOOD Stuff
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| Me on Devil's Island, in the French Guiana. Image Credit: Author |
But statistically speaking, most of us will never be famous - and that's a very good thing.
I’ve often said that I wish people could realize all their dreams and wealth and fame, so that they could see that it’s not where they’re gonna find their sense of completion.
Around the mid-2000's, I worked on a cruise ship.
When I mention this, people's eyes light up as they imagine what a GLAMOROUS life I must have led. (Ooh the flossy, flossy)
And I did.
Sort of.
When they ask me what it was like, I quote Dickens: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
And it really was both of those things.
This post will focus on the best of times. (The next post will focus on the worst...).
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| Photo by Reinhard Schulze on Unsplash |
HOW I WAS (SORT OF) FAMOUS
You've heard the expression "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"?
Well the same holds true for cruise ships.
A cruise ship is a microcosm; it's a free-floating world unto itself where the Captain is the Head of State, and the passengers and crew are all his constituents.
Within that world, I was the only person doing the job I was doing. (For anyone who's seen the show Love Boats, I was sort of like Julie McCoy). My job consisted almost entirely of public relations, with some administration thrown in for good measure.
Here's a long and incomplete list of some of the things I did on a nearly daily basis:
- Hosted cocktail parties and introduced the captain to the guests
- Entertained guests at VIP dinners (Don't talk about sex, politics, religion or guns)
- Danced with lonely passengers (Get your hands off my...!)
- Organized and hosted onboard games (Trivia, shuffleboard, golf putting - before you ask, yes, putting on a moving ship is a challenge)
- Gave language classes and computer classes (I once had an elderly man holding his mouse in the air asking why it wasn't working...)
- Manned the library and DVD rentals on sea days
- Accompanied sight-seeing tours (Lots of slow shuffling... Socks and sandals for the win!)
- Wrote tour reports (After said shuffling was completed...)
- ...and managed the schedule of five (un-cooperative) staff (!)
On embarkation days (the day the passengers boarded the ship) there was always a 'Meet your Captain and Crew' ceremony where I was among the dozen or so crew-members who was considered important enough to be introduced by name and paraded across the stage.
Because my job was so public-facing, I became known to everyone; passengers and crew alike.
I stood out not only because I was constantly interacting with guests, but also because I was the only member of the crew who was not in uniform every evening; I was required to wear either a ball gown (on formal nights) or a cocktail dress (on semi-formal nights).
(FYI - I was required to pay for my own wardrobe; you really do have to spend money to make money.)
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| Me in my favourite ball gown during a celebration for the cruise line. Image Credit: Author |
I also had access to privileges that most of the crew did not; I could go wherever I wanted and talk to whomever I wanted.
Although none of this replicates the experience of "Hollywood fame," within the world of the ship, the job I did set me apart, and consequently everyone knew who I was.
The GOOD
Before I go ahead and completely poo-poo fame (in the next post), let me tell you the few benefits that come with being known.
OPPORTUNITIES
Being famous means you're front of mind, so when opportunities arise they often come your way.
During my second contract, I became friends with the Tour Manager, and consequently was able to accompany many tours and see things I otherwise never would have.
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| Me in Geirangerfjord, Norway. Image Credit: Author |
Yes, being friends with the Tour Manager helped; however, he had to have someone from the ship's staff accompany all tours, and he obviously wasn't going to ask one of the maids.
'Obviously' because rank mattered very much on the ship. Although my position was considered to be a low-ranking officer, I was still an officer and that mattered. All officers on board were expected to do their share of public relations.
My job was to talk to guests and ensure they were happy; the maids were there to make beds and clean toilets.
Was that fair?
Nope.
But that's the way it was.
Fame isn't fair; that's the point.
ACCESS
Being famous gives you access to people and places you otherwise wouldn't have access to.
In the example above, if I hadn't been doing my particular job, I wouldn't have had access to the Tour Manager. We wouldn't have become friends, and I wouldn't have escorted as many tours as I did which gave me access to places I wouldn't have dreamt of seeing, like the inside of the Kremlin half an hour before it opened to the public for an exclusive tour just for our VIP guests...and me.
Being known literally and figuratively opens doors that would otherwise be closed.
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| Me in Moscow escorting a two-day tour, with a view of Red Square. Image Credit: Author |
PRIVILEGES
Fame and status gives you privileges. As an officer, I got to have things that rest of the crew didn't.
EXAMPLE 1: I got to eat in the officers mess versus the crew mess.
The food was usually the same, although if there were choice leftovers from the passenger meals they went to the officers mess first.
The difference was mostly in the atmosphere; the officers mess had round tables with table-cloths, silverware, cloth napkins and actual glasses to drink from.
It was meant to be an opportunity to enjoy a leisurely meal.
The crew mess was utilitarian - it was meant to give you the opportunity to quickly eat your meal so that you could get back to work.
I would sometimes eat in the crew mess because I had friends who weren't officers and obviously they weren't allowed to eat in the officers mess, but I could eat wherever I wanted.
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| Inside the Crew Mess. Image Credit: Author |
EXAMPLE 2: As an officer, I also had a private cabin, with a porthole.
The maids had to share two to a cabin, and the lower you went on the yardstick, the more people you shared with and the less likely you were to have a porthole. The deck hands were sometimes 8 to a cabin - yes, really - sharing ONE tiny bathroom and they definitely didn't have a porthole.
FREE SH*T
The more famous you are, the more free sh*t you get.
At the beginning of my first contract, I was asked by the jewellers on board to wear their jewellery on formal nights in the hopes that the guests might see it around my neck and be tempted to buy it.
My first evening wearing borrowed diamonds, I was given a Bvlgari necklace and earrings. During the evening, one of the earrings fell out, and I panicked as I imagined myself on the hook to pay for diamond earrings, when I was actually on the ship trying to pay off student loans.
The earring was eventually found, but the hook was bent because someone had stepped on it. Both the jeweller and I decided that it was for the best if I didn't borrow any more jewels. (This suited me just fine since I don't give a flying fart about diamonds.)
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| Me wearing the infamous Bvlgari set (the earrings matched the necklace). Image Credit: Author |
Also, did I mention that I never paid for any of the tours I went on? The guests were paying a huge-premium for exclusive VIP tours - they were paying to be there - but I was getting paid to be there.
Just because of my job and who I was on the ship.
Opportunities.
Access.
Privilege.
Free Sh*t.
That's the good part about being famous.
I would have been remiss in not mentioning the opportunities that fame provides, because it does do that.
But at what cost?
I did say that working on a ship was the best of times, but it was also the worst of times, which I'll will delve into in the next post...
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| Me squinting in the sun in Cartagena, Colombia. Image Credit: Author |
You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.
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