AGEING: The Comfort of Familiar Things

You got a nut for me? Photo by Transly Translation Agency on Unsplash

I was listening to music on a walk recently. I don't often do that, I generally prefer to listen to nothing more than the silence of the forest. (Or the sound of squirrels scuttling around!)

But I felt a bit tired that day and thought the music would give me a boost.

Dutifully, the first thing I did was skim through my new iTunes playlist; the one I get every week that recommends music based on my past listening.

Unfortunately, I rarely find a song I like or that jumps out at me. So I listen for a bit, then skip ahead, listen for a bit, then skip ahead until the playlist is over.

I wouldn't bother, but I keep thinking that maybe this week there might actually be a brand new song that I'll fall in love with.

On this day during my walk, after having done my duty and skimmed through the new recommendations (no love to be found), I went to "Favourites Mix" - a playlist that's also updated every week, but this one is based on songs I've played often.

Ahh.

Now I could relax.

It was a relief to listen to music I know; songs I've heard maybe hundreds of times before and will listen to another hundred for sure.

I think the first song that came on was "She Drives Me Crazy" by the Fine Young Cannibals.

It felt so comforting to listen to something familiar; like wrapping myself in a fluffy blanket or putting on a well-worn shoe.

It fit, it was easy, there was no friction.

I recently turned 45, and I strongly suspect this is part of the ageing process; the preference for the tried and true rather than the novelty of the new and exciting.

New things are still nice I suppose.

But, I like what I like.

I think we all get to a certain point in our lives when we no longer have the desire - or the bandwidth - to entertain endless new possibilities.

I'm certainly willing to try new things if they're presented to me, but I no longer have the youthful desire (or energy) I used to, to seek novelty at every turn.

Is it age itself, or is it because as we grow older and have seen and experienced more of the world, our scope becomes so large (and possibly overwhelming) that it's a relief to focus on a smaller, more familiar spot?

I'm not sure. And I don't think it matters. Sometimes why doesn't matter as much as what you decide to do with what you know.

What next? Photo by Sebastian Latorre on Unsplash

My husband and I recently took a short trip; a long weekend away to a city we'd never been to.

And although overall it was a nice weekend, I had this feeling the whole time that I wished we'd stayed home.

I used to jump at the chance to go to a new place - new sights, new sounds, new people! I couldn't wait to go somewhere, anywhere, as long as it was new and I got to pack a suitcase.

Now I abhor packing. I mean truly LOATHE the act of packing. I don't want to cart my stuff around with me, I just want it, and me, to stay where they are.

I realize I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, and to be honest, I don't know what to make of that.

During that trip away, I told my husband I was having trouble differentiating between the person I was, and the person I am.

Where did the adventurous me go?

Who is this person who prefers staying home?

Maybe this is part of the ageing process.

Or maybe it's just life.

How many of us stay the same throughout our entire lives? It's only natural that with time and changes in our circumstances (jobs, geography, friends, etc.) that our likes and dislikes change.

And beyond likes and dislikes, our values change. As we get older, the things which are truly important to us change.

EXAMPLE: Up until very recently, it was very important to me to have perfectly styled hair. (My old-school European mother never left the house without perfectly styled hair and a full face of make-up. She would dress up just to go to the grocery store.)

And then I joined the gym last spring and found myself sweating profusely four to five times per week (either in spin class, hot yoga or barbell) and I officially gave up styling my hair.

Old me would be horrified to know that I now generally leave the house in a messy top bun.

 

New me doesn't give a flying fart.

Ugh, packing. Photo by Anete Lūsiņa on Unsplash

So is it the fault of ageing, this desire for the comfort of familiarity?

I'm not sure it matters.

As with all things in life, best to observe, acknowledge, and adapt accordingly.

I will continue to dutifully skim through the playlist of new music just in case, knowing that when I'm done, I will find comfort in my "Favourites Mix."

A familiar song is like a comfortable shoe, and I now rarely desire the pinch of something brand new.

Just chillin'. Photo by Eric Nopanen on Unsplash

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You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.

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