CONSUMERISM: When You Have Nothing Left to Buy
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| So...what now? Photo by fr0ggy5 on Unsplash |
It's November; the month where - in North America - a phenomenon called Black Friday will take place. Where hordes of people will fight each other for deals all in the quest to acquire more stuff.
But I for one will not be participating because I find myself in a unique position in my life right now: I don’t want or need anything. (I understand this is a privileged position to be in and I don't take that for granted.)
I re-discovered this lack of wanting on a recent trip, as my husband and were walking around the tourist area. (You know the one, with all the cute shops and specialty restaurants?)
As much as it was a novelty to be in a new place looking at new things, it was really all the same and I didn't want or need any of it.
I don’t need a t-shirt, hand-painted mug, one of a kind jewellery, or cable-knit artisanal something or other.
The day before, we had been at the mall and I had felt the exact same thing.
I’m 45-years old, and at this point in my life, I know what I like and I rarely deviate. And I have enough of the things I like that I just don't need more of anything until the things run out or wear out.
EXAMPLE: I’ve been using the same hand cream for 25 years. (Winter in Canada!) I’ve tried other brands, I’ve tried to deviate, but I just keep coming back to the same one, so that’s that. I don’t need to constantly re-assess if there’s a better one out there.
I know what I like, and I just buy that.
I feel that way about a lot of things; there’s no motivation to try new products because I’m quite happy with the things I have and if I need something, I know the brands I like and I just buy the same stuff.
You might think that’s a narrow-minded way to live - to cut off other options like this - but I would say it’s a way to save time and mental bandwidth.
There’s a very real phenomenon called “decision-fatigue” where your brain basically hits a wall on the decisions it’s capable of making; it gets to a point where it doesn’t want to decide anymore.
All of those "things" come from what I do and don’t do; nothing I buy can give me those feelings.
A good night’s sleep means having good sleep hygiene; going to bed and waking up at regular times.
Creative fulfillment comes from sitting down and noodling through ideas to come up with a gem or two that I can write about and maybe share with others.
Feeling good in my skin means eating and moving in ways that are kind to my body.
I can’t buy any of those things, because those things are not things, they are feelings that come from my own efforts.
And that’s good and bad.
It’s good because I’m in charge.
It’s bad – read: challenging – for the same reason: because I'm in charge and all of those things require effort and discipline.
But the options are:
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I re-discovered this lack of wanting on a recent trip, as my husband and were walking around the tourist area. (You know the one, with all the cute shops and specialty restaurants?)
As much as it was a novelty to be in a new place looking at new things, it was really all the same and I didn't want or need any of it.
I don’t need a t-shirt, hand-painted mug, one of a kind jewellery, or cable-knit artisanal something or other.
The day before, we had been at the mall and I had felt the exact same thing.
I’m 45-years old, and at this point in my life, I know what I like and I rarely deviate. And I have enough of the things I like that I just don't need more of anything until the things run out or wear out.
EXAMPLE: I’ve been using the same hand cream for 25 years. (Winter in Canada!) I’ve tried other brands, I’ve tried to deviate, but I just keep coming back to the same one, so that’s that. I don’t need to constantly re-assess if there’s a better one out there.
I know what I like, and I just buy that.
I feel that way about a lot of things; there’s no motivation to try new products because I’m quite happy with the things I have and if I need something, I know the brands I like and I just buy the same stuff.
You might think that’s a narrow-minded way to live - to cut off other options like this - but I would say it’s a way to save time and mental bandwidth.
There’s a very real phenomenon called “decision-fatigue” where your brain basically hits a wall on the decisions it’s capable of making; it gets to a point where it doesn’t want to decide anymore.
That’s why, for example, Obama always wore blue or grey suits. He said he had enough decisions to make and he didn't think his wardrobe was important enough to warrant a daily decision.
Constantly re-evaluating takes time, and that includes entertaining new products, and managing stuff (especially stuff you don’t need).
Needs sustain you, wants entertain you.
All of those tourist shops are full of entertainment purchases; nothing in there is actually going to fill a need. (Don’t even try to tell me that you – at one time – had a desperate need for an artisanal hand-painted mug.)
What I’ve realized is that the things I want are not things at all; they are feelings.
I want to feel refreshed after a good night’s sleep.
I want creative fulfillment.
I want to feel good in my own skin.
Constantly re-evaluating takes time, and that includes entertaining new products, and managing stuff (especially stuff you don’t need).
Needs sustain you, wants entertain you.
All of those tourist shops are full of entertainment purchases; nothing in there is actually going to fill a need. (Don’t even try to tell me that you – at one time – had a desperate need for an artisanal hand-painted mug.)
What I’ve realized is that the things I want are not things at all; they are feelings.
I want to feel refreshed after a good night’s sleep.
I want creative fulfillment.
I want to feel good in my own skin.
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| I need to get some sleep. Photo by Successfully Canadian on Unsplash |
All of those "things" come from what I do and don’t do; nothing I buy can give me those feelings.
A good night’s sleep means having good sleep hygiene; going to bed and waking up at regular times.
Creative fulfillment comes from sitting down and noodling through ideas to come up with a gem or two that I can write about and maybe share with others.
Feeling good in my skin means eating and moving in ways that are kind to my body.
I can’t buy any of those things, because those things are not things, they are feelings that come from my own efforts.
And that’s good and bad.
It’s good because I’m in charge.
It’s bad – read: challenging – for the same reason: because I'm in charge and all of those things require effort and discipline.
But the options are:
- Don’t do them and suffer the consequences, or...
- Do them and push through the effort it takes to build better habits.
And there is no right or wrong answer.
There’s just the reality that you can’t buy any of the feelings you want in any shop.
And there is no right or wrong answer.
There’s just the reality that you can’t buy any of the feelings you want in any shop.
No matter how artisanal the mug, or how chunky the knit on that sweater.
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| Me? Oh I just want snacks. Photo by fr0ggy5 on Unsplash |
You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.
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