YOUR PERMISSION SLIP: You're an Adult, Do Whatever You Want

I should listen to you why? Photo by Manja Vitolic on Unsplash

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was struggling to make a decision around how to celebrate her birthday.

One option was what she wanted to do; the other was what she felt obligated to do.

This would be her 60th birthday.

That's right.

Sixty. Six Zero. 60.

Which prompted me to ask "How old do you have to be before you get to do whatever YOU WANT?!"

I say that age is when you're an adult who pays your own bills - whatever age that is.

If you left home early and started paying your own bills at 16, then that's when you get do whatever you want.

If you didn't start paying your own bills until you were 25, then that's the age.

(And if you're still not paying your own bills now, then I have bad news about what this means for your sense of autonomy.)

If you’re an adult who pays your own bills, no one else has the right to tell you what to do, or how to live, or to dictate what's best for you.

Do whatever you want doesn't imply hurting others - it's not about making angry or spiteful decisions along the lines of "I'll show you, you dirty so-and-so."

It's about knowing you have the right to have a vote in how your life unfolds. And if yours conflicts with someone else's, your vote is the deciding vote - because you're an adult who pays your own bills.

If someone else is upset about you doing what's best for you, that's their own little pile of drama, mama.

You do YOU.

Ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

Do whatever you want also isn't suggestion to lie on the couch in your underwear, covered in Doritos-dust, binge-watching Netflix until that little black box asks "Are you still watching?" (It's both a question and a guilt-trip because it wants to know what your ass is still doing on the sofa that many hours later.)

Well, maybe you do that occasionally; because sometimes on a Friday night that's what you want to do, and since you're an adult who pays your own bills - good news - you can! (I would throw in some gummy bears too, to get that nice sweet-and-salty mix.)

But being "an adult who pays your own bills" implies that at some point you're getting off the sofa to do something that will earn you money to pay said bills.

Whatever you do with the rest of your time after that - as long as you're paying your bills, showing up for your commitments, and not hurting anyone - is no one else's damn business.

If you needed a permission slip to do whatever you want, there it is.

You're welcome. ;)

And if that's not good enough, then the next time someone tries to guilt you into doing what they want over what you want, get out your electricity bill or car insurance payment and ask "Are you gonna pay this? No? Ah, well then you don't get to tell me what to do."

Frankly, with the amount of responsibility we get saddled with as adults, there has to be an upside.

And I'm here to tell you that the upside to being an adult is that you get to do whatever YOU want.

Livin' my best life, not thinkin' about you. Photo by Eric Han on Unsplash

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You might be asking yourself "How does this topic relate to recovery from binge-eating?" What I found is that - for me - finding new ways of thinking about life and its challenges helped me to stop stress-eating, and has been a very big part of my ability to stop binge-eating.

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